"fight as long as your heart's beating,fight for your honour,fight for your future. fight till your fist hits the enemy,fight till your fist is shattered.fight till your feet loose towards gravity, fight till your last breath, fight till everything else darkened,fight till you cant see your enemy. fight till your soul left your body"
Peta sighed. a white shirt, baggy woollen cardigan with shorts and gladiator sandals is perfectly placed onto him. any signs of struggle was absent from the looks of it. his dark iris fixed on Fenrir, not with anger, but contempt. his long black hair pulled to the back, tied to a short ponytail seemed to be glued. unaffected by the duel. The difference in power is too great. eyes so peaceful flickered from the focus of the ground to Fenrir. face so calm its difference between sleeping is only through the open eyes.
"surrender now,there is not much that you can do. fate have already decided that you will lose" Peta said as if chatting casually to a friend.
with his rotting feet and ribs, Fenrir fought to stand up. falling towards the force of gravity from time to time until his hunky figure of lean muscle stabilises to a stance. veins visible upon his biceps all the way through his arms. small cuts formed upon his forehead with a bruised lips upon his face. his shirt was torn together with his jeans and boots. showing parts of his feet. he inhaled a great amount of air and said "dont get too cocky now". he lunges forward, slowly positioning his body to a stance for attack. fingers all pressured up to a fist. one infront,and the other slightly behind his posture. the final jerking of the fist, eyes focused on Peta and with a sudden puff of exhalation, he's gone. only leaving a trace of dust to mark his former position.
the sudden clinch of bones roared thunder through the moor and a gust of wind sends out storms circularly from the point of intersection. Fenrir was behind Peta, attacking. another second, Peta seen squatting to avoid his attack. with a counter, Peta clawed his fingers,directing it towards Fenrir s' torso. dark smokes seen to occupy the tips of it. Fenrir grips Peta's shoulders and commit to a handstand directly above Peta, avoiding his attack. within a second, Fenrir flips Peta with incredible force towards the ground followed by a kick, letting out a stunning thump from the collison.
Peta rolled unimaginably letting out gushes of blood from time to time. he finally gained his grip,with hands and feet forcing friction towards the now shaved land of grass, exposing the cocoa coloured earth underneath. with a posture resembling a lioness ready for the "kill", his gastronemious contacted and forces his body to lunge towards Fenrir.
Fenrir defended himself but to no avail, Peta took advantage of the defensive stance. Peta grips Fenrir s' hand and managed to shift himself towards the open back of Fenrir, performing his final stance to target Fenrir s' heart. Fenrir was paralysed and in shock of what happening, things were too fast for him. his right arms,shoulders and deltoid now rot from the touch of Peta. indeed, he was raw and immature of this types of battles. he was too emotional to anger the order, his own team-mates. not thinking through of his destructive decisions. he closes his eyes and admit death have come to claim him.
"and let the fishes live inside the sea. seperating the lions and the sharks" a chant was recited. " the buddha will lay motionless while this chant remain protective "
A sudden rattle echoes through the field. the illuminant chains of gold and silver covered the limbs of both of them, seperating them within a split second. he was saved.
"you just wouldn't listen will you" a sigh was let out infront of him. a character wearing white robe-like dress, heavy looking, holding out a floating shimmering black talisman supported by the thumbs of the palms that was merged to a motionless clap.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
the end - part 1
the memory of bungee jumping last summer,made me relize that i am in two very similar but different situations. the numbness are the same. the moment where the only thing you can listen to yourself . even the internal monolouge managed to stop for a second. and that second is a very long period. all those blood pumped to your face,flushing it. a natural blusher.
a moment later i noticed the diffrence. one,with a paralyzed upper half,my eyes were wide open. unknowingly trying to find a point of focus. scouting for the moving figure that was there,in front of me a second ago.
add another second and i can start to feel the heat radiating through my ears,the sudden thump of my ear drums, blood flushing through it. my eyes,still longing for that figure, scouting and scouting. sanity started to surface. i expected this, i expected her to hate me for all those years. for leaving her. but what am i feeling?!
i can feel my throat drying up, coarse like the dessert. tounge and lips twitching to coordinate, an effort to make a sound. words like "dont leave" or "i love you" should make her stop right? heck even "stop" deemed appropriate for this situation. my fingers regained conciousness. as i felt the wooden roughness of the coffee table,i can hear the stomp of the coffee shop door. now i can see that people are staring at me,but then again,the pool of water are blurring thier figures.WHAT IS THIS?!
"stop!" i tried screaming. instead a hiss was let out. .with anger and frustration my hand lifted itself,unconciously ball up into a fist and attack the wooden table.
the pain,after the numbness have surfaced itself.
the moment that my fist have create a chaos on the table and created a sharp pain is when i realized that i havent been breating.i took a deep breath,spread out my fingers flat on the table and force myself to stand.
"she still loves me" i recited while making a sloppy footwork to the door.the more steps i took,the better it became.
i ran across,chasing the pavement to where ali was.i cant see her,but i can sense her.gradually in my mind ali began to mould itself.from blur it began to sharpen.and one second more i felt a momentum strong enough that it was able to take her off her feet.i turned her and hugged her tightly.afraid that if i get any more loose than this i could loose her again.
"i am sorry for making excuses. testing you proves that i wasnt fully commited to the relationship and im sorry. ive done it unintentionally.but seeing you,like this,it pains me.it was my fault. it pains me a great deal.as if i have engulfed a great deal of razor and swallowed it with water.with every breath it becomes painful.acknowleging the fact made my senses numb.thinking that my actions were the cause of it makes me turn into garbage."
tears began pooling again and i continued
"not being the person that make you smile,the person to defend you,the person you rely on,the person you can trust it makes me loose purpose. for not being able to be the pillow to your head while sleeping, to caress your skin,trailing every vein that popped up,bumps of your vetebrae and put in order your hair while you were sleeping its sickening. i despise myself,imagining people other than me doing that to you.i despise myself for leaving you without notice,i despise myself for making these choices. i despise myself for putting you through all these years,changing you,from what you really are."
"and to think for a moment that i cant do anything about it,to turn back time,i am a failure. i tried to think of myself taking care of you from far, walking in your shadows at night,but i cant. leaving you,slipping away from me,from what we should have been,made me loose the sense of survival.
again my throat began drying up,sobbing like a little child having his baloon popped infront of himself. tears flowing like a dam that have been broken,flooding through. unstoppable.
and then it hit me, the subtle noise of a 'hum' before, becomes a honk. i was sent back to reality. Ali was far, half the street from me when i realised this reality. then all began to shift.
i realized that a metal surface have hit my bone, snapping my ribs like a twig being stepped upon a foot. i realized that my body began to shift, forever aligning me from being opposite from ali. i realized that i have failed in reconciling with ali. you have always been, and forever a powerfull dreamer adrian. i managed to sigh in my own monolouge.
for a moment she turned and there was the moment that i managed to whisper , "Ali, love. dont leave me"
*****
Ali s' apartment, 4 years before
"god,im thirsty"
i dont know why but i ended up on this apartment again,on the same bed.sluggishly awake, I tried to find the way to her kitchen. with eyes opened up to a squint, I coordinate myself to the dim lighted space. feeling the texture on the wall finding support while I tip-toed through the ceramics of the space. I managed to find her fridge and open it up.
"i just need water and i'll be gone" i whisper to myself. a bottle filled with opaque fluid suggesting that it is chilled mineral water. I tried picking it up and with a thump it slips to the floor. "shit!" i whispered, afraid that my mockery and sluggishness will wake up the occupants of this home.
i peered through the fridge door to make sure i haven't startled anybody and there she sat,the woman, Ali i think. focusing tightly to her writing, mind all occupied. lips bit to give an unsymmetrical shape. hair tied back with some long ones escaped and run their way parallel towards gravity. the movement of her pen suggest that her writing is pretty,some sort of cursive.every 5 seconds her fingers glide across her hair,arranging them back to order. if her eyes could be a knife,they would cut through the paper taking only a second. her skin, fair as the snow that falls on mount Fiji. nose so cute it was placed just like a bump upon her feature. that oval face, with some moderate features suggesting calmness.
with legs crossed,i lied on the cold surface of the floor. one hand holding the cold bottle of mineral, the other mopping across my forehead, my nose and gradually managed to cover all the areas of my face.
"god,im in love"
a moment later i noticed the diffrence. one,with a paralyzed upper half,my eyes were wide open. unknowingly trying to find a point of focus. scouting for the moving figure that was there,in front of me a second ago.
add another second and i can start to feel the heat radiating through my ears,the sudden thump of my ear drums, blood flushing through it. my eyes,still longing for that figure, scouting and scouting. sanity started to surface. i expected this, i expected her to hate me for all those years. for leaving her. but what am i feeling?!
i can feel my throat drying up, coarse like the dessert. tounge and lips twitching to coordinate, an effort to make a sound. words like "dont leave" or "i love you" should make her stop right? heck even "stop" deemed appropriate for this situation. my fingers regained conciousness. as i felt the wooden roughness of the coffee table,i can hear the stomp of the coffee shop door. now i can see that people are staring at me,but then again,the pool of water are blurring thier figures.WHAT IS THIS?!
"stop!" i tried screaming. instead a hiss was let out. .with anger and frustration my hand lifted itself,unconciously ball up into a fist and attack the wooden table.
the pain,after the numbness have surfaced itself.
the moment that my fist have create a chaos on the table and created a sharp pain is when i realized that i havent been breating.i took a deep breath,spread out my fingers flat on the table and force myself to stand.
"she still loves me" i recited while making a sloppy footwork to the door.the more steps i took,the better it became.
i ran across,chasing the pavement to where ali was.i cant see her,but i can sense her.gradually in my mind ali began to mould itself.from blur it began to sharpen.and one second more i felt a momentum strong enough that it was able to take her off her feet.i turned her and hugged her tightly.afraid that if i get any more loose than this i could loose her again.
"i am sorry for making excuses. testing you proves that i wasnt fully commited to the relationship and im sorry. ive done it unintentionally.but seeing you,like this,it pains me.it was my fault. it pains me a great deal.as if i have engulfed a great deal of razor and swallowed it with water.with every breath it becomes painful.acknowleging the fact made my senses numb.thinking that my actions were the cause of it makes me turn into garbage."
tears began pooling again and i continued
"not being the person that make you smile,the person to defend you,the person you rely on,the person you can trust it makes me loose purpose. for not being able to be the pillow to your head while sleeping, to caress your skin,trailing every vein that popped up,bumps of your vetebrae and put in order your hair while you were sleeping its sickening. i despise myself,imagining people other than me doing that to you.i despise myself for leaving you without notice,i despise myself for making these choices. i despise myself for putting you through all these years,changing you,from what you really are."
"and to think for a moment that i cant do anything about it,to turn back time,i am a failure. i tried to think of myself taking care of you from far, walking in your shadows at night,but i cant. leaving you,slipping away from me,from what we should have been,made me loose the sense of survival.
again my throat began drying up,sobbing like a little child having his baloon popped infront of himself. tears flowing like a dam that have been broken,flooding through. unstoppable.
and then it hit me, the subtle noise of a 'hum' before, becomes a honk. i was sent back to reality. Ali was far, half the street from me when i realised this reality. then all began to shift.
i realized that a metal surface have hit my bone, snapping my ribs like a twig being stepped upon a foot. i realized that my body began to shift, forever aligning me from being opposite from ali. i realized that i have failed in reconciling with ali. you have always been, and forever a powerfull dreamer adrian. i managed to sigh in my own monolouge.
for a moment she turned and there was the moment that i managed to whisper , "Ali, love. dont leave me"
*****
Ali s' apartment, 4 years before
"god,im thirsty"
i dont know why but i ended up on this apartment again,on the same bed.sluggishly awake, I tried to find the way to her kitchen. with eyes opened up to a squint, I coordinate myself to the dim lighted space. feeling the texture on the wall finding support while I tip-toed through the ceramics of the space. I managed to find her fridge and open it up.
"i just need water and i'll be gone" i whisper to myself. a bottle filled with opaque fluid suggesting that it is chilled mineral water. I tried picking it up and with a thump it slips to the floor. "shit!" i whispered, afraid that my mockery and sluggishness will wake up the occupants of this home.
i peered through the fridge door to make sure i haven't startled anybody and there she sat,the woman, Ali i think. focusing tightly to her writing, mind all occupied. lips bit to give an unsymmetrical shape. hair tied back with some long ones escaped and run their way parallel towards gravity. the movement of her pen suggest that her writing is pretty,some sort of cursive.every 5 seconds her fingers glide across her hair,arranging them back to order. if her eyes could be a knife,they would cut through the paper taking only a second. her skin, fair as the snow that falls on mount Fiji. nose so cute it was placed just like a bump upon her feature. that oval face, with some moderate features suggesting calmness.
with legs crossed,i lied on the cold surface of the floor. one hand holding the cold bottle of mineral, the other mopping across my forehead, my nose and gradually managed to cover all the areas of my face.
"god,im in love"
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
gymnastics fever
my current desktop wallpaper serves of an inspiration for me to exeed the humanely impossible. to do more,to strive for that vertical second,contracting every ounce of my muscles either physically and mentally to better myself.
that being said it was all bullshit,gymnastics does inspires me to achieve more and yeah,this vertical handstand on a parallel bar looks good as a wallpaper.
p/s: i wont let ramadhan stop me from exercising, booyah! and btw,ignore my digital post its.holiday projects.tehehe
Monday, July 30, 2012
olympians
"what is sumo but a dance between giants"
"the way to beat a man is to shake his confidence"
both of quotes from memoirs of a geisha.
well it seems to me that the above snips from the memoirs suits the Olympics very well. though they called it competitions and medals were given the only thing i think about were performances. the control and contraction of muscle from the gymnasts, the tango between competitors and lastly choreography of strategies that differ between teams.
confidence,being the core energy of performances, illustrated a significant effect on thier repertoire. with confidence away from your grasp, your solid ground became a quicksand. pulling you slowly down. "should i do this, will that happen to me " will be recurring in the players mind. overcalculating and overthinking things made you loose the grasp of that shining gold medal.
but what do i know,im just an observer.
stay strong dear olympians.
"the way to beat a man is to shake his confidence"
both of quotes from memoirs of a geisha.
well it seems to me that the above snips from the memoirs suits the Olympics very well. though they called it competitions and medals were given the only thing i think about were performances. the control and contraction of muscle from the gymnasts, the tango between competitors and lastly choreography of strategies that differ between teams.
confidence,being the core energy of performances, illustrated a significant effect on thier repertoire. with confidence away from your grasp, your solid ground became a quicksand. pulling you slowly down. "should i do this, will that happen to me " will be recurring in the players mind. overcalculating and overthinking things made you loose the grasp of that shining gold medal.
but what do i know,im just an observer.
stay strong dear olympians.
Friday, July 27, 2012
a present
sorry for abandoning you blogger,so yeah,the new banner is a present from me to you.miehehe ;))
Friday, July 6, 2012
quotes
“Pictures could not be accessories to the story -- evidence -- they had to contain the story within the frame; the best picture contained a whole war within one frame.”
“This is what happened when one left one's home - pieces of oneself scattered all over the world, no one place ever completely satisfied, always a nostalgia for the place left behind. Pieces of her in Vietnam, some in this place of bone. She brought the letter to her nose. The smell of Vietnam: a mix of jungle and wetness and spices and rot. A smell she hadn't realized she missed.”
"An older woman from the group, a mother or aunt, screamed and ran forward toward the alcove, and one of the soldiers shot her. Captured on film. The curse of photojournalism was that a good picture necessitated the subject getting hurt or killed."
"if the pictures were no good,that means your not close enough"
all by Tatjana Soli in the book lotus eaters
“This is what happened when one left one's home - pieces of oneself scattered all over the world, no one place ever completely satisfied, always a nostalgia for the place left behind. Pieces of her in Vietnam, some in this place of bone. She brought the letter to her nose. The smell of Vietnam: a mix of jungle and wetness and spices and rot. A smell she hadn't realized she missed.”
"An older woman from the group, a mother or aunt, screamed and ran forward toward the alcove, and one of the soldiers shot her. Captured on film. The curse of photojournalism was that a good picture necessitated the subject getting hurt or killed."
"if the pictures were no good,that means your not close enough"
all by Tatjana Soli in the book lotus eaters
Saturday, June 30, 2012
on a break
im soaking the sun, sipping the air-conditioned room, relaxing my mind, while jamming my muscles to this song.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)