dear friend,
condensing my feelings into writable structure of words isn't really my thing. i usually see superficial cloaked textures,bounded by the movement of colors and dancing of silhouettes as my topic of inspiration, my bread and butter to all of my works.but this time, I'll give this a try.diving to the depths of my emotions instead of my brain to figure out the best words to convey to you in the simplest means that i can.
two people can never really be the same.n early impossible,only clones exist as equal in every standard possible to rate symmetry. but surprisingly, actions sometimes really exist in symmetry. taking advice from you is like talking to the mirror. you know what to do but you debate just for the sake of fulfilling ur lust for attention.well for the most part of it that is me.i just wanted to talk about it but have a masturbation paradox right after talking about it.i never listened to advices.more importantly how i hate taking advices from someone that offers the same consciousness as yourself.do you really exist?or am i just imagining things.
One of the real things that existed is the first words that you've asked me during our first social collision. "kau ayam chomell kan?"yes,the name.the name that makes me wanna puke in embarrassment. the name that instantly hook you as the immature kid that is slowly achieving adulthood, happy but at the same time immature.at school you were the interesting one.u cried over your additional mathematics schoolwork, but damned are you creative. whipping out birthday cards,with personalized messages as cute as a cupcake.even if your cards were edible i would keep them away,preserve it.
miracles do happen,how nurture cradles us in its warm embrace,making us somewhat similar in habbits and actions as the observers say.as common as i think we are,there are some flaws in my twin theory.one,we came from diffrent woumbs and two,you have more emotions than i have.but i think it really isnt about emotions, things just matters to you more than it did to me.u were sensitive,inside and out.how even the slightest use of wrong vocabulary will set you off.how you take care of everybody's feelings bottled it up until it explodes onto yourself.how you refuse to say no,when your heart says yes.that is what i have observed.how you try so hard,with the only hope that everything is going to be alright and miraculously it did.
the world matter to you more than me,and that is what sets us apart.im everchanging but you,just keep on being constant.and before i end this supposed to be short letter,i like to quote from my previous scribbles of words that i happen to jot down while keeping you in mind
"my advice for you,don't change.the woman that is characteristically enough to be my twin,dramatically enough for me to share meaningless stories with and insecure enough to remind me from loosing my way. the tears that you have shed made me fixed to my own reality. "enough fooling around" i say. that woman that have transcend from a high school brutal chick to a lady of her own class. a sister that is both wise and loving.
sometimes it feels good to be reminded of what we are.eventhough the words are as repititive as a broken cassette."
and for your future endeavors,i wish you ll the best of luck.be that point where others go to as reference.life is messy,just like an art-piece.the process is long and tedious,messy and confusing.but if you were to persevere and keep on track,chances are,you will succeed.
p/s ; faarkk,word vomit.i hope its not too long.after writing i feel drained.
for you my bitch,
ADAM
