somebody that i used to know

part 1

_________________________________

cold water runs through my face. water from my chin drops, submitting to the force of gravity.

"what was that all about?" I said to myself. i tried to remember the vivid dream that have woken me up from my sleep. Deep distinct voices that yelled "RUN!" popped up in my head. images of me running towards the darkness visualized. or was i chasing? the deeper i tried to remember, the more pronounced the aching in my heart.

i decided to take a sip of coffee downstairs. seeing her fast asleep, with her calm angelic face make me smile and awkwardly chuckled. I put on my sneakers and slowly creep out from the apartment, producing as little sound as possible as i closed the door.

the ambiance of this morning is perfect. if i can marry the weather, today will be the perfect candidate. Images of people rushing to their destinations, taxis and cars honked while the motorcycles slip in between them as hot coffee slivers in between the ice in that glass. i took a sip and it is refreshing.

i daydreamed while staring through the glass window. the thought of me, stopped in motion, while everybody is moving, changing their coordinates as if they were time freed me from my previous worry and give me the chance to float continuously in my empty mind. like having a backstroke in the sea, without the fear of drowning, storms and sharks.

*somebody that i used to know - gotye*

"hello?" i said as i wondered who called.

A soft recognizable voice replied "its good that you havent changed your number adrian"

"sandra?" questions started to popped into my head. why is she calling me? why out of all this time did she called me now?

"the one and only" a cheeky reply was given. This time the sound came from a whisper projected to my left ear. i turned back and there she was, the girl who left me waved with a sincere smile. images from my past surfaced.thank god i managed to pull off an awkward smile back at her but my heart is still aching.

*******

"are you doing well?" she asked me while copying my body movement by slowly flatten half of her face on the coffee table.

i stared through the window while trying to figure out the best reply. im never good at lying but i can use a little deception. "i've been well. Thank you" was the only reply i could give. we both stared aimlessly outdoors accompanied by the music of silence.

i ascend my head to an upright position. this time clutching my hands together, rocking forward and backward maintaining my gaze at the window to the walking pedestrians across the road.

"you left me, when i needed you the most. you left me without notice" with a calm expression i confessed. still avoiding eye contact, i continued "meds were given for depression. you are apparently looking at a body full of chemical wastes. But somehow, i don't blame you. i don't know why but i don't."

"time have changed, my friends have all left me. all that i have now is only ma and pa and also their inheritence". words suddenly just barfed out from my mouth. im not mad at her, but this is a part of me that she have to know.

"thanks" she replied. "your welcome". a smile carved perfectly on her face but her jade coloured eyes seemed uneasy.

"have you foud her?" she asked. i was surprised that she remembered my dream girl.

"no" i replied with a small chuckle. "but ive been dating someone and she's great"

we continued sitting there for hours. and it felt like our first date during our childhood. both of us, sitting on the swing together, not moving, just wavering by the push from the winds of autumn. she was starring at the sky above, and i was playing with the sand using my feet. suddenly i recalled what i said to her on that day.

" i wanna love you"

___________________________

part 3

textures

as i read from books, i unknowingly rape the texture with the tips of my fingertips. drawing lines as my eyes plunge itself to every detail, encrypting sentences as they are coded emotions that were written from a genius observer.

may it be romance, adventure or just knowledge everything must be imagined and that's the charm of a printed book. the uneven texture of the beige printed pages became my contours. the musky smell of wood make me visualize of a dense forest with tall sky-scarring trees, thick but not packed. light shone from above giving room for the plants below to grow. as the battles tramples the bushes below, the flip of a page made me imagine that i'm on a hill top. under the shady tree, the only one that is there. the thin page now became another body that hugs my fingers perfectly.

as we age so does books. maybe that is why i can relate to them. Orange spots randomly appear and the pages became more brown as if they were pigmentation from an old man's skin. the older they are,the better.

now is it significant to say "dont judge a book by its cover?"

rain

It is such an inspiring thing. Water droplets tipping down from the heavens,hitting the dry dusty ground. Soft cold winds rushing through the window dancing with the blue organza curtain. This is the nearest thing i'll ever get to London for the time being. The rain lets me imagine, utilize my thoughts for the happiest love story to the most dramatic one.

Walking after the rain will give me such self satisfaction. The winds flew by me as if I'm with my lady, strolling around in the humid weather, saying nothing but to our hearts. Enjoying and appreciating this particular moment that god had given us. The smell of fresh grass with the distant thunder dissolving into the horizon.

As i imagined this text while tapping through the keyboards to make my thoughts stay. I looked at the window and say "Oh, its a very fine day".

the placebo effect

Sometimes its good to get the placebo effect. Like when you read the description on a cosmetics or a food product, explaining with the uttermost beautiful arrangements of words. psychologically inducing you to dream of what will become. The through information that were given that feels like nothing is left behind. From the origins of the materials to the after effects of the product in hand. We believe on what were told eventhough the fine print says "p/s ; this doesn't apply to all " .

Placebo is used in the research faculty to became a constant. saline is usually injected and results are taken. For the scientist, placebo became just another statistic, but for the patient, it is hope. Though when reality checks in, placebo just don't work at all.

reply#1

Drenched in my own sweat, I asked her "how do you see the clouds?"

"A floating cotton in the sky waiting for me to jump up and about above it"she replied with a shy laughter following after.

Its been a day since we were here,walking up and down these picturesque hills while being accompanied by the soft equivalence of "hello!" the wind had to offer us. The weather is nice, the sun is well lit and the atmosphere is just how imagined it to be.

as we laid down on the short grasses, moving about here and there, she asked. "when will you kiss me?"

I turned to face her, eyes scouting the contours of her face. Her modest cheekbones. Jaws so smooth a drop of water would make all the velvety chocolate fountain envy with disgrace and lastly I came in contact with her eyes. Her beautiful green colored eyes, dilated and her throat swallowing every exess saliva her buccal cavity had made.

"It'll be the day when you became mine and I became yours. The time when everything else will became less significant. The surroundings became a blur and the only thing i hear is the beat of your heart. When I know you were meant for me and for me only "

"If i die, i don't want your happiness to be caged by this kiss if i give it to you now,this moment, that could last forever "

bad future, bad.

" the future used to be such a abstract idea. and the dream was enough. and now the future have the nerve to show up and its expecting us to do something and its not interested in giving a lending hand '' - Chris Colfer , Glee season 3 ep10-

21

never really thought of what my life will be if i am 21. if i remember as a child i only dreamt myself being just of the age of 17. relaxed, underdramatic, and laid-back. now its 21, thoughts just have to occur to me what had happen.

Its not the fault of the age, its the fault of the dreamer. although not dreaming about 21 i carelessly dreamt about being 26 AND 30. the age where i hoped that my life will significantly change. where i'll hopefully get to go places, places where only discovery channel and documentary shows advertised and stuffed into my mind. to experience different cultures and be the visitor instead. knowing people, sharing with the world about anything related.

but in 21 i found myself entrapped within those dreams. capable of only imagining of what i longed for. Imagine each wind swifting through my feet is brushed by the salt of the ocean, every shower i take is made from the crystal clear waters that is plunging towards gravity and every road i make is a road towards endless discovery.

it's not so bad being 21. new knowledge up-rises,books ready to be read and my thirst for knowledge have yet to be fulfilled. i may have to just stop yapping and start tapping my way to the future. its not that hard, i've done it for my 20th and who says i cant do it again?

p/s;yeay! for knowledge as it will give me money along with other cliche stuff.muahaha

#SEMESTEREVIEW

i dont know why and dont ask me why but i just love "#".twitter is to blame.

third semester of my bachelor degree have been hectic. By discarding drama i've gained life. By discovering depth of honesty i've gained mutual understanding of people's characteristics. i plan not to judge but in time i've judged so many people i can write an essay about them. dare to say for this semester, in search of uncommon i have made myself common.

but it is better for me to make my past the reference book for my future. to remember every documented past crystal clear to help future me decide in the choices he's about to make.

p/s ; warming up to my usual style of writing

BLOGSPIRATION#1

Found of about this blogger through my friend that mentions his name through twitter.I modestly stalked him using google and i dont know if this the real one or not but this blog that came out of the search engine is superintresting. my review ;

"the combination of a mellow song plus a simple background makes me "cair". Viewers can get into the briliant text that comes with the plate of picture. truly a dish both appetizing and magnificient. words are simple,true and the best of all, authentic. A true resemblence of "less is more" . "

go view his blog here! he'll be my limbo-limit that i want to achieve. booyah!

Holiday projects

its been one hell of a semester since i've described every wind that pass through my face as a living nymph in written form for my blogpost, so here's the deal ,im gonna make this few weeks a living dedicated boot-camp for me and my social life *(by social i mean blogger,facebook and tiwtter)

#1.ill try to sign in my twitter account as long as i possibly could for a day,reading updates,news and tweet awesome things to say

#2.blogger will be my writing platform to descibe my daily or hourly essays that i'll try to ramble up whenever i have the time to do so. since the internet in my home is not crappy, there's nothing to be blamed exept for myself if i didn't commit myself to my 2nd hobby of interest.

#3.do designs,and by designs i mean awesome designs.to cultivate my creativity and sharpen my techniques.

#4.work out.this is so that anything i wear for my coming pharm-nite will be barney rated ohsemm!

p/s;suddenly need to go to work because of the wardrobe that im gonna pull of for pharm-nite.dem you fashion! *(and money)