somebody that i used to know

part 1

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cold water runs through my face. water from my chin drops, submitting to the force of gravity.

"what was that all about?" I said to myself. i tried to remember the vivid dream that have woken me up from my sleep. Deep distinct voices that yelled "RUN!" popped up in my head. images of me running towards the darkness visualized. or was i chasing? the deeper i tried to remember, the more pronounced the aching in my heart.

i decided to take a sip of coffee downstairs. seeing her fast asleep, with her calm angelic face make me smile and awkwardly chuckled. I put on my sneakers and slowly creep out from the apartment, producing as little sound as possible as i closed the door.

the ambiance of this morning is perfect. if i can marry the weather, today will be the perfect candidate. Images of people rushing to their destinations, taxis and cars honked while the motorcycles slip in between them as hot coffee slivers in between the ice in that glass. i took a sip and it is refreshing.

i daydreamed while staring through the glass window. the thought of me, stopped in motion, while everybody is moving, changing their coordinates as if they were time freed me from my previous worry and give me the chance to float continuously in my empty mind. like having a backstroke in the sea, without the fear of drowning, storms and sharks.

*somebody that i used to know - gotye*

"hello?" i said as i wondered who called.

A soft recognizable voice replied "its good that you havent changed your number adrian"

"sandra?" questions started to popped into my head. why is she calling me? why out of all this time did she called me now?

"the one and only" a cheeky reply was given. This time the sound came from a whisper projected to my left ear. i turned back and there she was, the girl who left me waved with a sincere smile. images from my past surfaced.thank god i managed to pull off an awkward smile back at her but my heart is still aching.

*******

"are you doing well?" she asked me while copying my body movement by slowly flatten half of her face on the coffee table.

i stared through the window while trying to figure out the best reply. im never good at lying but i can use a little deception. "i've been well. Thank you" was the only reply i could give. we both stared aimlessly outdoors accompanied by the music of silence.

i ascend my head to an upright position. this time clutching my hands together, rocking forward and backward maintaining my gaze at the window to the walking pedestrians across the road.

"you left me, when i needed you the most. you left me without notice" with a calm expression i confessed. still avoiding eye contact, i continued "meds were given for depression. you are apparently looking at a body full of chemical wastes. But somehow, i don't blame you. i don't know why but i don't."

"time have changed, my friends have all left me. all that i have now is only ma and pa and also their inheritence". words suddenly just barfed out from my mouth. im not mad at her, but this is a part of me that she have to know.

"thanks" she replied. "your welcome". a smile carved perfectly on her face but her jade coloured eyes seemed uneasy.

"have you foud her?" she asked. i was surprised that she remembered my dream girl.

"no" i replied with a small chuckle. "but ive been dating someone and she's great"

we continued sitting there for hours. and it felt like our first date during our childhood. both of us, sitting on the swing together, not moving, just wavering by the push from the winds of autumn. she was starring at the sky above, and i was playing with the sand using my feet. suddenly i recalled what i said to her on that day.

" i wanna love you"

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part 3