failed attempt

part 3

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“Wait, I have something for you.” a childish woman voice came to sound as i entered the library. it was alis'. “See if you’ll like these better than Peter Pan. You can give them back next time you hang here.” she said while handing over two books to a kid in a shirt and short blue jeans.

"hello" the father greeted me at the entrance like a true gentleman. i smiled back. Behind him, the kid followed while starring frantically at the book that Ali had given him. his hands furiously stroking the crusted cover of the book that seemed as if it have undergo seven years of drought without rain. they both looked somewhat recognizable from the way they walked and acted.

Ali smiled at me while standing on the wooden staircase, and invited me to come over while holding some books in her pearl white hands.

"im sorry i left you without prior notice this morning. i was in a hurry and when i went back your apartment it was locked and i guess you should be here, so here i am " i told her with an astonishing regretful low voice ending with a crooked half smile.

"mmmhmm"Ali replied with a zest of smile to give some structure to her somewhat flat response. she seemed preoccupied with her work. treating the books as if they were kings and bishops that need to be arranged in a specific hirachy. one wrong move and off with her head. the ambiance was a bit dark. the kind of the mood where tim burton will be inspired hence composing a musical drama then and there. it is not my cup of tea but oh well,as long as i can see Ali.

"where are the others?"

"shhhh" Ali instructed me to keep quiet, not with a GO AWAY! tone but with a soft soothing voice. like a mom, telling her kid that everything is going to be all right.

"you want some chocolate?" i reached out to her and hand her a bar of chocolate half eaten to purposely irritate her. she pushed a book to my chest in reply.i took it and flip it around and through all the pages as if im playing with a toy.

Ali instructed me to read. i lowered my posture and crouched on the ground. " The Secret Garden". somewhat thin compared to other classic english literature. illustration of vintage flowers almost disappearing give me an idea of how long this book have been here. the front cover is half torn and a musty smell can be sniffed though the brown colored pages.

"im sorry but.."

"i know, take your time" i replied before Ali can finish her sentence.

"arnt you goin back to your home? how long has it been?two,three days?" Ali trying to start a casual talk while still arranging the age defined books. " five days and two days" i replied. "and i just did, to change my clothes before going here".

"how come you never told me about your family?" i kept silent while pretending to be reading the contents page of the book. after ten second Ali continued by saying "u know,there is nothing interesting about the plot in the contents page" and i shuushed her hoping she will continue on doing her work.

"why two days? why isnt it one week?" she asked again while shuffling through the books as if one of the ministers have gone missing. "i just love the number" i replied.

*worlds collide - the mostar driving club playing*

i reached to Ali, grabbing her hand. she was surprised and nearly dropped the books onto my head. her palms are cold due to the air conditioners, yet they are soft like melting chocolate. she descends slowly from the flight of stairs and like a princess on the way to a ball. upon reaching my height, i braced her with all my might . after slowly dropping her feet on my shoes we danced to the sound of music. slowly pacing through the beats of the song.

i stared to her eyes. eyes that can melt ice without the help of global warming. Before she manages to ask anything, suddenly i blurted "you love me Ali?"

"yes". "but why did you ... "

while carefully grabbing her face, i kissed her lips. hesitant but not backing out. she was a bit shocked at first, but later on carved her soft lips thats comparable to the clouds upon mine.like puzzle pieces our lips fit together. i slowly moved my hands, one to her cheeks and the other supporting her head. trembling but not awkward movements. my fingers danced to the fibers of her curls instead of my feet. slowly performing a lyrical dance not to the beat of the music but to the thump of our heart.

someone knocked on the wooden shelves and my eyes slowly opened. i quickly covered Ali's figure using my loose cardigan still not letting her go.

"get a room" said the old man while he moved to the newspaper stands. i laughed and end with a sigh of relief.

"i better get going then" i said to Ali while giving her a last kiss on the right side of her blushing cheek. "are you free tonight? i wanna see you" i asked while she is still in the embrace of my arms.

"im sorry but .. " she cringes while gesturing to the books. i smiled while slowly letting her go. i held one of her hand and escorted her to her throne of wooden stair case.

on the way out of the library, a pen and paper emerges upon my sight. without thinking, i wrote. things that ive been wanting to say to her tonight,before i go away,far far away.

before i leave, i captured a last glance of her. the woman that have changed my life. she slowly fixes her hair, combing it gracefully with her hands while tying a knot to keep it from distracting her from doing her work. suddenly she turned to me, and i turned away immediately.

i kept walking away from her even though i know that this is the wrong direction to take. afraid that she will see the cold tears that have been flowing, drop by drop due to the images of letting her go.